David was our friend.

A eulogy to a dear friend.

David was our friend. Paula and I were sat in a small restaurant in our tiny French village at the start of last summer. He must have heard the English being spoken and got up at the end of his meal and came over to say hello and introduce himself. Unsteady on his feet, with a devilish twinkle in his eye, he spoke with a beautiful baritone voice, tremulous with age.

David was our friend. A sensitive soul, who welled up at the very mention of his dear wife Sue, gone from this earth three years past. A retired Bank Manager, who moved to France with his wife over thirty years ago. An old collection of farm buildings that he largely refurbished himself, now his age had caused him to live downstairs.

David was our friend. We met on a Tuesday morning at the weekly market in the village. A chance to help him with his supplies of apple juice and a huge bag of food for his beloved dog, Sam. A cheery wave and a chat with everyone who served him. His French was without fault, as he smiled and gave a biscuit to the flower seller’s dog. Then, over to the café for a morning coffee and a chance for him to regale us with stories from his past.

David was our friend. By now we had invited him to share some dinners. On occasion we would cook something extra and drop it over to him. It’s a struggle to cook when you are on your own, my Mother was the same. The gift of an unused microwave, with instructions on how to operate it, to heat our meagre offerings and an entreaty not to put metal in it!

David was our friend. A Christmas revelation at the church carol service, when he added his considerable vocal talents to a tenor solo. Even in his late eighties, you could tell this was a man who could really sing. A joyous Christmas Eve and David came for dinner. We invited him for the next day, but he wanted to be on his own. It was a special time for him and his wife. He missed her every day she wasn’t there, he just wanted to be on his own this year.

David was our friend. We knew he had help come in to look after him every day. He was frail and needed this care. But he was stoic and determined and I never heard him complain, except for missing Sue. One day his neighbours said he had fallen and banged his head. He had been taken to the hospital at Perigueux. We rushed to see him as soon as we were allowed to visit. Hospital had aged him still more and he looked so fragile, as he reeled off the list of things he hoped we could bring.

David was our friend. His wonderful neighbours, Paula and I, alternated visits, so he had someone to see every day. His son, back in England, was due to visit. With health concerns of his own, it was a delicate situation. David had suffered a stroke, which had caused him to fall. His once melodic voice now faltered and he struggled to remember our conversations. A last visit before we headed back to England for several weeks. A sense of this being our last chance to see him, as in his weakened condition he couldn’t speak. But at our farewell he gripped me fiercely and looked deeply into my eyes. He was saying goodbye. I knew it and he knew it.

David was our friend. He died in the second week in April, never recovering from the stroke that he had been taken into hospital with. He was gone. We had not quite known him for a year. We were back in France in time for a funeral at the Crematorium on the outskirts of Perigueux. A sea of people filled the space, as a choir serenaded their former President and words were said for this kind, thoughtful, sentimental man. His son looked bewildered by it all, possibly never fully appreciating this facet of his father’s life. David’s neighbours, Paula and I gave what comfort we could and then help with some of the inevitable legal unpicking of an estate in France.

David was our friend. We have become such friends with his neighbours, who did so much for David in those years since his wife died. So kind and thoughtful. A legacy of friendship, built on the foundations of our mutual respect and friendship for David. We miss him, of course, but we celebrate him when we remember him. Such a kind and generous individual, who came to France to live his life with his beloved wife Sue.

Think about all those people we call friends and give them a call, or pop round to see them sometime. Make sure they are alright. It will make their day.

David was our friend.

.